Sunday, September 7, 2014

Purely for Your Amusement Series: Driving Confessions


I like driving- usually. Depending on the day, it can either be a fun or mind-numbingly stressful experience. Here are some confessions about me...and driving.

I don't know the first thing about fixing a car. I have always had a slight paranoia about getting ripped off by a mechanic someday because they sensed my ignorance. Apparently, however, it's not enough to prompt me to further my knowledge in the near future. I'm great at following the light-up prompts on my dashboard though, like this one:


In most cases, I prefer to be the driver rather than the passenger. Sitting strapped in the passenger seat silent and frozen with terror is not my idea of a relaxing drive. Have you ever used the imaginary brake pedal?


I rely rather heavily on GPS systems. You see, I am very directionally challenged. However, I am learning that a healthy dose of common sense is needed when dealing with a GPS. You never know when they could be experiencing a glitch:


Watch your GPS carefully. Behind that eerily calm, computerized voice, there could be death lurking. Also, when she tells you you've reached your destination, don't take her word for it. I know this from experience.


When people ask me if I can drive a stick shift, I smile smugly and say:



KIDDING.

I don't know how to drive a stick shift. If I was ever in a life or death situation where I needed to drive a car that wasn't an automatic, I would die. Probably. Or maybe I could figure it out, who knows? I've successfully driven a lawnmower with a clutch. (I gave myself whiplash, but that is beside the point.) 

Does this happen to you?

Once, I sort of ran a red light and there was a police officer at the intersection. It was one of those bad timing situations when you think you have enough time to get through but then you realize you don't. In a flash, I realized the light would turn red before I made it all the way across and I saw the police car out of my peripheral and I panicked. I compulsively checked my rearview all the way home but apparently the officer didn't share my feelings about the situation. Or maybe he was on his way to lunch and just didn't have the time.

To wrap up, I saw this story a while ago and it makes me almost die of laughter every time. 


Have a magnificent day.

Love, Celia

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