Here is a picture for you to gaze at:
Take in the beauty. Take in the danger. Take in the artistry. Are you done gazing now?
I showed you that picture to set the mood for the story I am going to tell you. It is called My First and Most Epic Starbucks Coffee Spill.
Last week, I went to a Starbucks that I hadn't tried out before. It was small and had a little bit of a ghetto flavor to it, but the baristas were quite nice and had sparkly smiles. For some odd reason, despite the 86º temperature outside, I ordered a cappuccino (with my usual pump of toffee nut). I still do not understand why I ordered a hot drink. Perhaps my rationality was affected by the arctic air conditioning and the sparkly smiles.
Anyway, I went over to the bar to wait for my drink. It appeared in a magically short amount of time, and I claimed it and with a smile and a thank you. My lovely mother was with me and I wanted to show her what a cappuccino looked like (Starbucks makes their cappuccinos rather dry so there is a lot of pretty froth and foam.) I popped the top off to display the foam in all its glory, then replaced the lid.
I lifted the cup to my mouth and tilted it for my first sip. That was the moment when it all went down. Literally. Mysteriously, I did not taste the warm and frothy goodness. I did not taste anything, in fact. Instead, I felt a growing, scaldingly hot sensation coming from my light blue shirt. Time slowed as I looked down in horror to behold a coffee waterfall running down my front, onto my jeans and puddling around my flip-flops.
The gravity of the situation became clearer as I realized that the coffee had been very, very hot and my skin silently screamed in agony.
I looked round to see if anyone had witnessed my magnificent accomplishment. It appeared that everyone was much too busy ordering their own drinks and thinking their own thoughts. At least, that is what I'd like to think.
I mopped up the floor as best I could with an enormous wad of brown napkins and exited the store in mild humiliation and moderate pain.
The results of that experience were:
A.) I am not ordering another cappuccino for at least a year.
B.) I will think twice about ordering toffee nut syrup in my coffee after finding out what it smells like after sitting around on clothes.
C.) I will perform double, triple and quadruple checks on the lids of hot drinks before they ever approach my mouth.
I am a changed person.
I hope you are having a magnificent week so far.