Monday, June 15, 2015

Airplane Tales


You know when you see an airplane in the midst of the beautiful skyline and you wonder where it's going and wish that you were on it (unless it's going to Trenton or Detroit, no offense)?

Nobody?

Okay. Well, I really like flying on airplanes. I like sitting by the window and watching the ground fade away and the clouds engulf the wings.

I know a lot of people do not like flying for various reasons, including:

a.) Fear of heights
b.) Airsickness
c.) Hatred of being squished between two strangers
d.) Strangers striking up unwanted conversations
e.) Strangers chewing airplane food in your ear
d.) Let's not even talk about the whole process of actually getting to your gate

Thankfully, I do not get airsick (that I know of) and I'm not afraid of heights (that I know of.)

I've never had any really bad experiences while flying. Well, unless you count:

The Terrifying Lip Gloss Episode: I was 13 and it was my first time flying. I felt fabulous, adventurous, progressive. While in the air, I decided I needed a swipe of my favorite lip gloss to complete my sophisticated traveller vibe. The lip gloss—shimmery and smelling of heavenly vanilla—was in a soft tube that you had to squeeze to apply. I reached in my bag, pulled it out and unscrewed that cap. Then, it happened. The sparkling gel began to exit the container in a disturbing manner. Squirting, to be precise. I looked on in horror as the pressurized cabin continued forcing the liquid out of the hole and down the sides of the tube. Thankfully, my traveling companion (my dad) had to presence of mind to rapidly screw the cap back on and recommended that I wait until landing for gloss application. I agreed and sat back in my seat, relieved that I had managed to salvage the better part of the precious liquid.

The Unsavory Bagel Chips Episode: I don't know what airline I was flying, but they had lousy snacks. Out of desperation, I ordered a bag of bagel chips. Normally, I do not eat bagel chips because I am convinced that they are a minor threat to personal security. If you've ever eaten bagel chips, you know how loud they are when you're chewing. Imagine that you're blissfully munching bagel chips while crossing the street. Then, imagine that a large, speeding garbage truck whips around the corner on a right on red and BAM! you never heard it coming. Okay, that's sort of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. Anyway, I received the bag of my snack of choice and guess what flavor they were. Cinnamon Raisin. I'm not even kidding. I didn't know they made that flavor...in fact, I am suspicious that it was a test flavor and everyone decided that it was really bad, so they passed it off on the airline. I think I might have eaten two of them (first one: confusion, second one: acceptance and then rejection.)

The Silent Car Magazine Man: This doesn't really constitute as a bad experience, but it was slightly amusing. This guy (I named him Tyler) sat next to me in stony silence for the entire 2 hours of my flight. He typed some stuff on his laptop and also read a car magazine (I use the word "read" loosely because it was mostly just half and full-page photographs of cars.) I decided not to push it and just sat calmly, reading The Princess Bride. Tyler broke his silence during landing, when he dropped his phone and accidentally touched my leg while he was trying to find it. He apologized profusely and I reassured him that it was really okay. When we were allowed to exit the plane, he stood in the aisle and motioned for me to go ahead of him, which was astonishingly chivalrous.

Oh, and shout-out to the guy wearing the big, orange foam cowboy hat in the Atlanta airport that one year I flew by myself the first time. I recognized you from the plane and figured I could just follow the hat because anyone who could pull that off so fabulously would obviously know what they were doing. You didn't. I was very disappointed, but no worries. I hope you figured out where you were going.

Well, that's all for now folks. Do you have an strange/funny/fantabulous flying adventures you want to share?

Love, Celia



1 comment:

  1. I've only been on a plane twice. And both times were rather uneventful, other than watching the sun set and five hours later watching it rise. Your stories are great! You write in such a way that your reader is immideatly interested in what you have to say.
    We are praying that you guys are safe with all the stores in your area. And looking forward to seeing all of you in a few weeks!

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