(Typically, I utilize a running speed I like to refer to as the Anti-Undead/Anti-Dead. Fast enough to stay out of the reach of the average zombie,* but slow enough to prevent my lungs from embarking on a suicide mission.)
1. I probably shouldn't be allowed to be out in public this early. My eyes aren't open all the way and WHAT IS THAT HELLISH CREATURE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH never mind it's just a pile of leaves. *whispers* but it was an evil pile of leaves. I know it.
2. Why do I smell donuts all of a sudden? *runs past fire station* Oh.
3. Wow, I really can't breathe.
4. This is the end.
5. Oh hello random person operating a vehicle YOU ALMOST ENDED MY LIFE. I'm probably going to die of suffocation anyway but seriously, you are rude and will probably contribute to the eventual extinction of humans and unicorns. Shame.
6. I think my legs are going to fall off.
7. It's usually a jogger that finds the dead body in the movies. I hope I don't find a dead body. I don't remember how to do CPR.
8. *Waves hello to passing runner and is rudely ignored* Wow, someone's endorphins haven't kicked in yet.
9. I wish I sweated rainbow glitter. That would be cool.
10. Well, I made it back home without passing out on the sidewalk or being decimated by sinister vehicular entities. I suppose there's always next time, right?
I hope everyone is having a great Labor Day and isn't working too hard. Even though it is called Labor Day. *laughs silently*
*To be clear, I am referring to Walking Dead zombie types, not the annoyingly fast ones from World War Z.